The Dirty Thirties vs. the Nifty Fifties

In dreams, we drive nothing but super cars down the Vegas Strip, Miami's Ocean Drive, to the supermarket and if we could, to take out the trash even. In reality, super cars like to be babied, driven every blue moon and you won’t fit anything more than yourself and your ego into one. So which vessel shall you pilot when you’re not dreaming and how will you manage to compliment your sense of style? While there are a handful of performance packing full sized sedans on the market, just ask yourself one question. For what? I’m not planning to take on the world of racing in my $50k F1 family sprinter. I’d prefer beauty, comfortability, ease, and simplicity AND at a reasonable price—since I’m not gonna need all that space aged aluminum, carbon fiber and aerodynamic business. I think $30k sounds reasonable for such requirements and here’s what it’ll get’cha.

If anyone ever labeled me to be any sort of snob, they’re probably right. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t know effort when I see it and I do see it in Honda’s 2008 Accord Sedan and Coupe. The Accord is your run of the mill sedan starting at $21k and therefore is in the driveway of every other nuclear family home across the states. This is why I’m here to tell you, DO NOT buy the cheap version that doesn’t include an engine or steering wheel. Buy the full featured masterpiece with shiny door handles, navigation and yes, a time machine. I know, though this car is kinda attractive—especially for a Honda—it doesn’t carry the prestige of an Audi or even a low end Lexus but trust my word, if this is your exact price bracket, you’ll be satisfied with your selection and pleased by the extra zeros on your bank statement.

This next one is a no-brainer. The one thing I’ve said most to average car consumers this year is “Buy a BMW 1 Series!” For two reasons. First, it has one door on the left side. Second, it has another on the right. That’s right, COUPÉ. Don’t fret, it’s still a 2+2 situation, so you’ll fit all your “stuff” into the back seat. Yet, it’s sporty, functional and confident. Need I say more? It’s a damn BMW you bloody bastard! You know you’re gonna get a plush cabin with durable leather, great handling and if you don’t have any already, groupies. So if you’re not currently in the market for a superb grocery-getter, put the 128i on your Christmas list or even make up a holiday in an effort to quench your cravings.

“Hop ya ass out that S Class” and lay back in THIS! Mercedes-Benz’ newest entry level creation, the C300 Sport Sedan. Complete with oversized badge and aggressive stance, this is the Superman Benz meets a soccer mom favorite. You’re not gonna find more prestige in this class in any other vehicle. While I hate to be typical when speaking of vehicular status and then point the world toward a German created automobile, all I can tell you is “it is what it is.” The cream of the crop doesn’t get there by imitating but by innovating. While Toyota, Honda and Nissan put forth their best efforts, Mercedes proves it can be done a lot better for a little more change. With that said, save on your reality and splurge on your dream. If you feel the need to have donkey booty hand stitched onto the seats of your daily driver, at least your persona matches your car's interior. Otherwise, reserve the fancy for Ferraris and Phantoms!

Generally unamused,

T Royal

"You niggaz ain't know about a Robb Report
Bout a high speed Porsche, i.e.
You niggaz ain't know how to floss 'til I came through the door
like "Eric B. for Pres," respect me in this BITCH!"

–Jay-Z, The Watcher 2