'Mane, them draws comin' off when she see the two-seater!'

Aight, Disclaimer: This is some grown man shit. This ain’t about how super fast your weak ass rice rocket can go or how many TVs are in your scraper. This car review is about class and quality... And, for the record, NO I’m not gonna be p.c. about this or any other article.

In bachelor life you ain’t gonna impress any classy woman with just any ole' Mustang or Camaro unless it’s a restored old school or some newer, higher end version of the norm. Listen up! Let's not get a Chrysler 300, Lexus or anything of the sort. Two words, BOR-ING. Oh and here’s two more words, TWO-SEATER. Yeah, that’s wassup. And you ask why? OK, then stop reading ‘cause this ain’t for you, LAME. Two seats, plus sporty and luxurious. This description exudes intimacy and that’s the point. But what YOU wanna know is what are your options. Nah, don’t front. You wanna know.

Numero uno. This should be a no-brainer. THE Chevrolet Corvette. There’s no car in it’s class. And know this! It’s base model is faster and cheaper than your new Shelby GT500 Cobra Mustang. Do not try to refute this statement. I know the the GT500 has 505 horses and the Corvette is rated at 400. The Corvette is lighter and more aerodynamic, which gives it much advantage over the beautiful yet horribly engineered Uber-Stang. While the Corvette doesn’t sport the best innards. It puts all BS to rest.

Next up, Porsche Cayman. I could never figure out what the hell the attraction was to those little round-esqe Porsches. But as I’ve matured, I have also grown to learn that a Porsche is a renowned painting and an epic symphony. Now everyone loves the exceptional Carrera GT but I must admit that I’m not too big on the Boxster and I don’t take kind to the Cayenne. On the other hand, the Cayman has the P's: plush, power, price point, and pure passion. Starting at 50k, it handles like nobody’s business and it’ll give those competing Mercedes and BMW coupes a run for their money. Guess what else? Suicide wrist red interior IS an option.

The Audi R8. What can I say. This is the shit that shuts down the block. Every “boss” wants to pull up in a Lambo, Ferrari or Bently. Fine, it’s expected. While you could easily buy a Dodge Viper and get the exotic super car stamp, you may as well invest a bit more and get some quality Euro leather under your ass. The masses can’t comprehend, they cannot calculate. The R8: the example of superb engineering. I’ll tell you this much. If YOU see ME in a R8, don’t talk to me. Chances are you’re gonna ask me some amateur question about cars while not realizing that you ain’t on my level. Angel-eyed headlights, engine in the trunk, track certified and two seats. One for me and the other for her.

The one... and the two,
T Royal